Saturday, 18 April 2015

testing testing, 123 ... 45678

I've been spending a lot of times in labs having blood taken and breathing into tubes. Have you ever done a breath test before? It's weird. Really weird.

I'm REALLY hoping one of these tests tells me WHY oh why I get so many pains in my midsection. Why am I anemic? WHY DAMNIT. Lactose intolerance? Celiac disease? IBS? Ulcer? Bacterial infection? A lot of stomach acid? WHYYYYY

Anyway yesterday I had to spend 2.5 hours at the lab doing a lactose tolerance test.

You are not allowed to sleep or exercise an hour before the test, or during. You go in, literally breathe into a bag and they catch your air in a test tube and cork it in there, straight out of a cartoon. Then you drink a gigantic cup of lactose (which sounds way grosser than it is, it was like a ridiculously sweet water, totally gross but not like, old chunky milk or anything like that).

Then you sit on a chair.

NO WALKING AROUND, the test has to be done at a resting metabolism.

Then after an hour you go back and breathe into another bag and they catch more of your breath. Then, you guessed it, you sit on a chair. For another hour.



Breathe into a bag and they catch your breath again.

So if you ever have to do a lactose tolerance test, bring a good book or something to do. I did a lot of reading, I also eavesdropped on an old man telling his life story to two strangers about immigrating to Canada from Hungary. I looked at Reddit. Then I read some more.

Which is good, I've been meaning to read more.

Speaking of segues, I am 99% ready to get the words "read more" tattooed on my fingers. On my uh, "sub knuckles" I guess they're called. Now I just have to talk somebody into doing it at the tattoo shop. They're so busy lately. The shop is killing it, we have more artists than we do stations so people are sharing, and it's constantly buzzing in there. There are more girl artists than guys which has never happened in that shop when I've worked there. It's a totally different dynamic. Much more positive and welcoming if you ask me.

I was always afraid of getting my hands tattooed because how will I get a job and all that, but seriously, working at the college has opened my eyes to the fact that nobody cares. And to the people who do care, I am already the most tattooed person they've ever seen, they're not going to notice the difference in my tattoos stopping at my wrists or going onto my hands.

I just did a "respect in the workplace" job training online course thing, and from that I've learned that:

a) Eating a banana suggestively can be constituted as sexual harassment.
b) People are not allowed to talk to me about my tattoos, and are technically not supposed to talk about the way I look between themselves when I'm not around either as that can be considered workplace bullying.

That's pretty fantastic if you ask me.



What's not fantastic is the bookstore hours are always shorter in the Spring and Summer, and I, being a casual cashier, have literally with 1 week notice suddenly gone from around 30 hours/week to 16.

I will be covering people's holidays and the like, but still, I was just getting used to this extravagent lifestyle where I can count on being able to afford to pay for our house to have actual bi-weekly garbage pick up, help pay for gas for the car, not fall behind on credit card payments AND not wear pants with ripped-out crotches.

Now it's back to worrying if I can afford to buy new socks or whatever.


Wish me luck with all that.


Tank has the worst fricking seasonal allergies. I feel terrible for him this time of year. He's so itchy and leaky and disgusting. It's hard being a bulldog. And to be honest, not so easy being a bulldog owner. The licking noises he makes basically make me want to murder everybody.

Buuuuuuuut he's soooooo cute, even at his most disgusting. Here he is melting on my leg.

It's been one crazy expensive vet visit after another. He's uncomfortable and sad, but he's going to get better soon. Here he is "smiling" at the vet. Hahaha what a dork. He also hid underneath Ryan's chair when a literal tiny puppy barked at him. AW

So I'm off to work now, what's new with you?

Reading in 2015 - Book 6 - I'm With the Band: Confessions of a Groupie by Pamela DesBarres (NSFW)

First off, this is an ADULT book. Do not let your kids get hold of this until they're 18+ (haha) I had a hard time finding this book but have heard of it so many times that I went on a mission one day and found it in an amazing used book store for $4.20.

I opened it with high expectations and was not disappointed. Have you ever read the Electric KoolAid Acid Test or any of those books set in the time of real hippies and freaking out the squares and all that? I am fascinated with that time, and a lot of this book takes place around love-ins and all sorts of crazy shit I can't even imagine.

The way this book is written, I actually remembered feeling those lusty teenage feelings. And there are journal entries and photos throughout the book as well, making the entire thing even more fascinating.

This book had me Googling things like this:

 (Creepy-ass Tiny Tim)

And this:

(Frank Zappa's cabin)

And this:

(Pamela in the '60s)

There are so many stories that made me go WHAAAAT.

That being said, after around the halfway mark, the book starts getting really sappy; the story turns less into a sexual conquest and more into the quest for a husband. There are still little insane tidbits, little moments involving people like Jimmy Page, Elvis, Keith Moon and the like, that make it worth reading to the end, but I felt like the book lost its magic after she got into her mid 20s.

Just like the lifestyle of a groupie. 



Sunday, 12 April 2015

Reading in 2015 - Book 5 - Looking For Alaska by John Green

This is a hard one to write about without giving any spoilers. The gist of it is this: a gifted teenage boy gets into an elite boarding school, where he is placed with an eccentric roommate and meets a beautiful girl named Alaska. There's a coming of age-i-ness to the story, and it's quite good. There's also a countdown to something which I always find enticing. (Each chapter is titled something like "45 days before")

There are funny bits and sad bits and poignant bits, and it's an easy quick read. I liked it alright. I kind of had a tough time reading this though, no fault of the book's, because I was going through a very tired time in my life and was trying to read it before bed. So I'd get through half a chapter and fall asleep. I bet if I read it in larger chunks I would have liked it more.


I am very disappointed that I've only read five books so far this year. What the hell, me? I meant to hit 50 in 2015, but how the hell am I going to do that now? I'm months behind!! Somebody tell me some good short books to read! :)

Wednesday, 8 April 2015

One of those perfect days.

Easter Sunday was great. The kids were at their moms all weekend, so Ryan and I had plenty of grownup time to ourselves. We watched the movie Interstellar. We seriously pigged out on Chinese food and chocolate cake. He got started on a killer stomach tattoo and I went shopping for fun things like music and books and joggers in the sunshine.


There is a used book store I've been avoiding for some time, I know it's dangerous just from the way the books are stacked in the windows, and the fact that it's three stories tall. And on Sunday I finally went in and fell in love as I knew I would.

I was on the hunt for a specific book, but definitely checked out the paranormal section and the art section too. I didn't even venture to the fiction area, that would have been another five hours worth of browsing. They had one copy of the book I wanted, for four dollars.

Over the past few years I've heard of this book over and over, but have had zero luck locating it anywhere. And there it was, that entire time, with that amazing '90s cover and everything.


Ryan took me to his favorite record store while Caroline finished setting up for his tattoo. I have to be honest, I don't know much about records and I am not good in music stores to begin with. I feel super judged the second I walk into one, like I have to put on a show of liking only the coolest music and not looking at the NEW section because I have some totally killer underground musical taste.

But then I spotted the metal section and instantly grabbed a Graveyard album I hadn't heard yet and it was all over for me. I also secretly bought Ryan a Death Grips album because I knew he was going to have a hell of a day getting his stomach tattooed. 

This is embarrassing but I had to ask Ryan to show me how to play this record when we got home. I literally have never used a record player in my life (that I can recall). Turns out it's pretty easy.


So Ryan got his stomach tattooed. Everybody at my work was like "it's gonna hurt sooooo baaaaaad" and I swear I was more nervous than he was. When Caroline's machine did that first little "bzz bzz" I had to turn away. I couldn't watch. But he was fine. Ryan is a tough motherfucker.

They only got the lines in, but look how BAD ASS this tattoo is. I love it so much!! When Caroline showed me the first sketch I was so excited that I get to look at it all the time! :)

Ryan's not bad to look at either. Daaang. (heart eyes emoji)


While he was getting tattooed I went on a walk around downtown, went to the mall and bought myself some men's joggers (they have actual pockets and don't say something stupid on the ass). Then I sat outside of the tattoo shop with a Starbucks and a book in the sunshine. It was seriously wonderful. 

Except ...

Across the street were two middle aged homeless people laying on the sidewalk in a sleeping bag. And they thought it was hilarious that I was reading. They kept yelling "CHAPTER ONE, bla bla bla, CHAPTER TWO, bla bla bla blaaaAAaa" and then around nine the chapters started all being about stabbing, which was mildly worrisome. "Chapter nine, get stabbed nine times, the tenth one is free!" (Evil cackling laughter.) "Chapter ten, getting stabbed ten times is not fun!" (Cackle cackle)

I just tuned them out after chapter eleven but what the heck? I guess reading is still dorky ... to hobos? 

Hey, speaking of the word "hobo" is that an offensive term? A friend of mine got in internet trouble for using the word on Instagram last week. Now I'm paranoid about it.


After Ryan's appointment we went home and a lot of this happened.

What a great day. 


(song by Death Grips)

(song by Graveyard)

Tuesday, 7 April 2015

new drawings

Okay well I am on a roll lately. Something about spending hours hunched over a sketchbook, cramping up my hands and straining my eyes as the daylight dims to evening really does it for me.

I have turned another corner, so to speak. I feel like I can see another level of improvement in my drawing. It's such a gratifying feeling to be able to create something with just a pencil, paper, definitely need an eraser. And probably some markers, at least a sharpie or two.

Here's what I've made in the past couple weeks.



I'm especially proud of the Gremlins one and the Ghost one. I can't stop either, as soon as I finish one drawing I turn the page and go "Now what should I draw?"

Best. Hobby. Ever.

Tuesday, 31 March 2015

Currently: March 31st. It's not my period.

March was a weird one. I was suddenly so tired. I mean SO SO SO tired. Still am. It started a couple weeks ago. And I couldn't shake it. I was literally falling asleep on the bus (THREE TIMES in one week), I was going to bed at 7pm, and it was seriously affecting my work and home lives. I was getting dumber and couldn't focus. All I wanted to do was just ... rest my eyes ... for a minute zzzzzzzzzzz

Nothing would help. I'd chug 3 cups of coffee and then just ... lie ... down .. for a minzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I thought maybe it was because I changed anti-anxiety meds. So of course I Googled it, like any idiot would do. And once I got past the "you definitely have cancer" information, I came across a list of symptoms that made me think there was something wrong with my liver.

The list matched all my weird abdominal pains, plus being tired, plus the fact that I don't like drinking alcohol any more. Anyway I went to the walk in clinic the next day and had blood taken and tested. My liver is fine, thank you very much. But I'm anemic.


That makes sense.

The clinic doctor who gave me the diagnosis, without looking at my past history or anything, said it was probably because of my period. He asked if it's especially heavy and I said "no, not really" and he totally wasn't listening and said "yeah this happens quite often with women of your age, heavy periods cause anemia" and I was like "ok whatever it's not my period" and he was like dreaming about going golfing or something so I said thanks and left.

So I was prescribed these special extra iron ... prenatal vitamins.


I got home from the doctor, Ryan was at work, and told the kid about the vitamins. He came up with this ultra hilarious joke to show the vitamins to Ryan and scare the shit out of him, basically.

I pretended that was a hilarious idea, then secretly warned Ryan via text, because that kind of joke is not funny to us. He played along.


So since I am anemic I became certain I am bleeding internally and probably most definitely still dying of something terrible. (Thanks, anxiety.) Luckily I had an appointment with a GI specialist booked from 8 months ago that fell yesterday morning.

The guy asked me ten billion questions, did a quick feel of my tummy and then said he was almost 100% certain it's nothing serious. (YAY) and gave me a new diet to try and all these requisition forms for tests for H Pylori, lactose intolerance, celiac disease, all kinds of stuff. So yeah, wouldn't it be great if I was just lactose intolerant this whole time or something easy like that?

Anyway long story short, it's probably my period.


So lately I've been

Eating: non-spicy food, boring food, and then once in a while I go crazy and buy a bag of potato chips and regret it later but I don't even care as I'm eating the salty goodness. Bananas are my new friend. And other boring things.

Making: so many drawings. I'm branching out from the Simpsons and did a Bob's Burgers one and a Beavis and Butthead. Good times.

Listening to: nothing new. I'm stuck in a music rut a little bit.

Wearing: Since I work at the bookstore 4-5 days a week it's been a lot of nondescript clothing. Like, plain pants, plain t-shirt, cardigan.

Planning: I'm starting to get my finances together a little bit. Planning a budget. Having grown up rather poor and then suddenly rich as a teenager (my mom married a very well-off man when I was 13) I never really learned what to do with money. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around it, and it's difficult!

Working on: A drawing of Mr. Burns and Smithers with weird long necks and arms that is all in pinks and purples. I'm using the neon pink sharpie waaay too often lately. It's just such a striking color.

Reading: I'm reading Looking for Alaska by John Green rigIht now. I like it, but I don't know. Maybe because of my period because I've been so ooooo oooo tired lately, I haven't been able to focus on a book.

Watching: Better Call Saul. It's great. Um ... other things too, but I can't think of them. Walking Dead. zzzzzzzzzzzz oh sorry I fell asleep trying to think of more shows.

Loving: My dumb old dog. The idiot just head butted me in the arm while I was holding a full cup of coffee, but he did it out of love so I'm not mad. I actually burst out laughing because it was so stupid.

Waiting for: This weekend! It's a long one and I'm so excited to have a few days off. We get Friday AND Monday off for Easter at the college. YES. YEEESSSSSS.

What are you up to?